Survivors Day, 2010: Have You Built Your Boat?

As I stood at the registration table, Jack, a former participant from  our prostate group, caught me in a bear hug. “Remember me!” he cried.   Jack has a full gray beard and is 6 feet eight inches tall so he’s easy  to recognize. “Of course,” I said. “How are you?”

He updated me  on his health and family and some of the guys we both knew from the  group 10 years ago. Then, after a pregnant pause, he said, “Tom, I built  a boat.”

“A boat?” I said. What do you mean? You live on  a farm. What kind of boat?” From his wallet he pulled out a picture and  proudly handed it to me.

“Well here it is. It’s a row boat or you  can put up the mast and sail it.”  I looked at his photograph. There  was Jack sitting in a 6 foot row boat, holding the oars akimbo and  grinning up at the camera. It barely held his massive frame above the  surface of the water.

Caught a little off guard, I quickly  recovered. “Jack,” I said.  That’s amazing.” I wasn’t sure where to go  with this. So I said, “Where do you sail it or whatever?”

“Well,  that photograph was taken on Loch Raven Reservoir, but I’d take it  anywhere. No leaks so far.”

“Jack, that’s amazing,” I said again.  My vocabulary was shrinking fast. Fearing he was about to ask me to  accompany him someday in his boat, I used an old therapist’s trick. I  asked an introspective question. “Jack,” I said. “Whatever inspired you  to build a boat?”

“Hell, if I could get through all that  treatment, I figured I could build almost anything in my basement. And  I’d always wanted to build a boat.” Jack’s logic here seemed a little  fuzzy. Never mind. Just seeing him again and feeling his enthusiasm  about his boat made my day.      

What happened to you at HopeWell  on survivors Day?
Have you built your boat?
And where is it  taking you?  

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by  THOMAS LARGE, LCSW-C  CLINICAL DIRECTOR, HOPEWELL CANCER  SUPPORT